| = Great imagery | Dan Moldoveanu [02.Nov.09 22:09] |
| Great imagery and metaphoric thinking... I am quite fond of the idea of drunken clouds... However, I feel like the end was unnecessary, and shifted the focus from something very ethereal onto something mundane. As general advice, I would suggest to not put a twist in a poem unless the whole poem is calling for that twist, and that twist is particularly wise/shocking/revealing. But of course, that's just an opinion. Great work! | |