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= !
Corina Gina Papouis
[16.Nov.09 12:54]
the rhymes and rhythm of the poetry is all over the place!
some verses have stretched themselves far to thin over the content, I suggest you re-write the poem in blank verse.

there are some original elements here, I particularly liked the:
'Stuffed up with wannafeels of You & I.'

cheers,
Corina

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= !	Corina Gina Papouis [16.Nov.09 12:54]
the rhymes and rhythm of the poetry is all over the place! some verses have stretched themselves far to thin over the content, I suggest you re-write the poem in blank verse. there are some original elements here, I particularly liked the: 'Stuffed up with wannafeels of You & I.' cheers, Corina