| = Ana | Corina Gina Papouis [25.Nov.09 17:01] |
| Welcome on Agonia! I think your verses could do with a make-over. There are a lot of unnecessary repetitions which weaken the poem. also a couple of typos at 'tha shaddow'. Best wishes, Corina | |
| = I've passed the stage, but I'll return wiser | Ana Leibovici Hutanu [27.Nov.09 14:08] |
| Thank you, Corina! I'm glad you pointed the repetitions and the misspell. I've corrected the last one...about the repetitions, I'll see what I can do. The thing is I've passed this stage a long time ago, 14-15 years ago actually - I was, as a teenager back then, in my "dark" period and I'm not sure I'll be able to go back there for a make-over, I'll try though...I just posted the poem as a gesture of self-acceptance of all the "me"-s in the past, including this "dark teenager wannabe poet" I was back then. I'll use the present "me", the wiser me, to give another shade to those words. | |