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 =  Ana
Corina Gina Papouis
[25.Nov.09 17:01]
Welcome on Agonia!
I think your verses could do with a make-over. There are a lot of unnecessary repetitions which weaken the poem.
also a couple of typos at 'tha shaddow'.

Best wishes,

 =  I've passed the stage, but I'll return wiser
Ana Leibovici Hutanu
[27.Nov.09 14:08]
Thank you, Corina! I'm glad you pointed the repetitions and the misspell. I've corrected the last one...about the repetitions, I'll see what I can do. The thing is I've passed this stage a long time ago, 14-15 years ago actually - I was, as a teenager back then, in my "dark" period and I'm not sure I'll be able to go back there for a make-over, I'll try though...I just posted the poem as a gesture of self-acceptance of all the "me"-s in the past, including this "dark teenager wannabe poet" I was back then. I'll use the present "me", the wiser me, to give another shade to those words.

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