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 =  misery
Corina Gina Papouis
[01.Dec.09 12:54]
I enjoyed your poem, at times maybe too rich in depicting, i would have accelerated the rhythm, with a few more verbs...
but misery is felt throughout..

may i suggest something, since the poem is so visual? ok, in the first stanza try:
an anchor dropped on the heart (a weight on the heart)..:)

see you around,

Constantin Delca
[04.Dec.09 10:04]
it was my intention in the first place to depict a miserable daily routine in a static and enclosed universe.
as for your suggestion, acknowledged:)

thank you and sorry for the late answer!

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