| = misery|
Corina Gina Papouis
|I enjoyed your poem, at times maybe too rich in depicting, i would have accelerated the rhythm, with a few more verbs...|
but misery is felt throughout..
may i suggest something, since the poem is so visual? ok, in the first stanza try:
an anchor dropped on the heart (a weight on the heart)..:)
see you around,
| = |
|it was my intention in the first place to depict a miserable daily routine in a static and enclosed universe.|
as for your suggestion, acknowledged:)
thank you and sorry for the late answer!