Members comments:

= !
Corina Gina Papouis
[13.Dec.09 13:33]
your text needs a bit of de-cluttering for this poem would look beautiful when undressed of repetitions.

last stanza priceless:

'Feel in her eyes March,
September in her heart.'

regards,
Corina

= !!
Corina Gina Papouis
[13.Dec.09 13:35]
...your poem does not include explicit language...you need to un-click that particular icon! OK?..:)
= As Corina-
John Willy Kopperud
[13.Dec.09 15:32]
- I certainly enjoyed the poem. One detail though; Break of THE day as a title does not seem quite appropriate to me. I'm convinced that the right way to express
this in English is:THE BREAK OF DAY.
Cheers from Willy

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= !	Corina Gina Papouis [13.Dec.09 13:33]
your text needs a bit of de-cluttering for this poem would look beautiful when undressed of repetitions. last stanza priceless: 'Feel in her eyes March, September in her heart.' regards, Corina

= !!	Corina Gina Papouis [13.Dec.09 13:35]
...your poem does not include explicit language...you need to un-click that particular icon! OK?..:)

= As Corina-	John Willy Kopperud [13.Dec.09 15:32]
- I certainly enjoyed the poem. One detail though; Break of THE day as a title does not seem quite appropriate to me. I'm convinced that the right way to express this in English is:THE BREAK OF DAY. Cheers from Willy