Members comments:

 =  rabble-rouser
Veronica Valeanu
[16.Mar.10 17:10]
well, Emilian, glad to have you here!
you have a strong poetic voice. a text reaching out, the reader feels like on a razor edge, but in fact the author really is on the mood's leading edge.

some little mistakes to revise:
line 3 -through
2nd part - [that that's the way] - get rid of a "that"
part 3 - won't
4th don't / [whether you locked] would work better instead of[if you locked the door or not]
5th {since when it became important] - without "when"

so, -definitely looking forward to other texts under your signature.

 =  and..
Corina Gina Papouis
[16.Mar.10 22:34]
scrolling down through this list of emotions the text could serve as a roller-coaster in Alton Towers (quite a way up from Luton!)'s daring, scattered with 'bitter sweet' imagery yet keeping close to reality.

if those tiny errors mentioned above could be rectified I am sure the poem would benefit from its full appreciation.


(a student in Luton!)

 =  re
emilian valeriu pal
[17.Mar.10 09:56]
Veronica, Corina,
I don't have acces to a computer during the night, so i revise the mistakes this morning.

 =  so
Veronica Valeanu
[17.Mar.10 13:31]
Emilian, i shouldn't overlook the fact that you master so well the stream of consciousness. - that's also what i've noticed about your other texts (the Romanian page)
- and you don't focus on that, allowing blanks in thinkinng - in this way it can function like a binding material for different realities.

 =  veronica
emilian valeriu pal
[17.Mar.10 16:39]
I have to admite: it's a little bit weird to feel in one language and to write it in another one. Also it's weird to read me in a language that is not mine.
Thank's again.

 =  a bit south
Motoc Lavinia
[17.Mar.10 18:39]
I see the idea, although covered up in a pile of sentences stiched up with lots of ' and' . Good luck with brushing and all the ' after ' work!

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