Members comments:

 =  a poem-concept
Veronica Valeanu
[13.Jun.10 16:41]
there is [until I grow] instead of [until i will grow]

the text is extremely simple in form but extraordinarily condensed. in fact what you did here in terms of discourse approach is a reproduction - at a very subtle scale- of what happened to the sun. (being stolen, shrunk, compressed)

at a second thought, those words [I could carry so tightly / master] are equal to the act of doing. the power of the mind, of perception, outruns the power of nature. it causes the sun's disruption of his original energy, and eventually a sort of extinction.
the sun is in fact an act of possession, a hasted but initiatic one perpetrated by the son (play upon words). the sun IS the son, at a volitive level.

it would be so interesting to search into what has remained: seeing everything from the point of view of the father.who is a silent witness with no force to counteract. it's extremely interesting because this seems an assumed extinction of force. like a power that renounces at itself!
once i've heard about a grain of wisdom that says - when being a father, you must never let your son outdo you (be better than).

Madalina, there are forces in you that will never let you feel you've done enough in writing!

i have the pleasure of covering this text with a red star.

 =  .
nica mãdãlina
[13.Jun.10 17:06]
veronica, my first choice was 'I grow'. but, not mastering this "english, our love", I hesitated and...

thanks a lot for the support. I keep on reading what you said and it's overwhelming, because, and I'll say it maybe too shortly, it offers me the means to and end I thought buried (even if not closed yet).

 =  ...
nica mãdãlina
[13.Jun.10 17:43]
an end, of course...


+ yes
Corina Gina Papouis
[14.Jun.10 14:16] a style I sometimes like to embrace, the surreal elements and the detail well depicted. to many more like this one!

 =  .
nica mãdãlina
[16.Jun.10 15:13]
corina, thanks... sometimes, this surrealism feels like the only way to stay in touch with reality, indeed.

 =  Shadow of a melting sun
Daniela Hendea
[26.Feb.11 09:44]
A boy eager to grow up...the yellow air darkens over the reality.

The ending made my heart skip a beat.

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