| = Andreea!|
Corina Gina Papouis
|.. try and be consistent with the rhyme and the rhythm of your poem, otherwise it sounds like a broken drum.|
also this verse: 'he’s wondered and cry deeply' - doesn't seem right. did you mean he has wondered and cried deeply? or his wonders and cries?
..and last but not least try to avoid repetitions: Mr. snail has appeared 4 times here and not to make a statement.
| = To Corina Gina Papouis|
|Thanks for your advices. I will take care more with these aspects, especially with the rhythm of poems.|
I'm sorry, I wanted to say "he has wondered and cried deeply". I will correct in text.
I know about these repetitions. I saw them also, but I didn't know how I could replace them.
I will try my best. Thanks