| = said, with meaning | Lynn West [14.Feb.11 06:10] |
| A moving image of love... | |
| = Dan Marius | Luminita Suse [01.Mar.11 15:23] |
| I liked the sense of drama, the implicit and explicit line breaks and the imagery in your poem... To avoid clichees I would remove one word: lovers. so please break/ perfect couple the stark dismembered/ beauty Also, the shift adjective-to-noun: "the stark" And the rhythm... Thanks. | |
| = hey there | dan marius [03.Mar.11 16:07] |
| thanks. don't think I'll remove "lovers" though.. although your "version" sounds better. yes well in the end lovers remove themselves :) | |