| = a few ideas | James A Williams [22.Jan.12 22:19] |
| Hi Bianca. I tend to write prose, but as a native English speaker I see why this is in the workshop. I think that if you are willing to do some work on it, you could have it posted. I am going to do a draft on your poem. I hope you will be willing to take it and do a few more when I'm done. You tried to get everything, you have nothing. Without a qualm you die I am happy for your hell. Your soul is a botched jumble your brain a void. You see yourself a queen, but are a mark of mercy with a cheap, painted face I am happy for your hell. You seek poise, yet you go insane when you see the balance scale against you. You cry and no one cares, none see your torment. I am happy for your hell. You wake in the morning to find yourself forsaken in a world that spurns you bite a file and nothing happens.(I’m not sure I know what you mean here, please revise and clarify.) You hate your wretched life I am happy for your hell! Luck, jaw | |