= . | Veronica Vãleanu [16.Apr.12 20:29] |
[stroke] you could find smth better instead of that vb there in [her lips shifted rhythmically] | |
= . | Petru Teodor [17.Apr.12 11:19] |
how about this one? Thank you! [pt] | |
= . | Petru Teodor [20.Apr.12 19:12] |
sorry about that I didn't noticed it at first glance! Thank you! | |
= Petru | Veronica Vãleanu [20.Apr.12 19:19] |
[her lips trembled with an iterative shiver]- seems too explicit, as if you were trying to mechanically impose emotion (by the fact that trembling is caused by emotion). I am trying to tell that if you need to transmit that particular emotion it has to be in a different way that the visual one, because the visual is what we receive, whereas here you have the giver position. I won't give you any alternative, because I know it will come to you eventually. and I'm looking forward to your next attemp, which is definitely going to work. | |
= . | Petru Teodor [29.Apr.12 09:04] |
I do apologize for [ed] mistake and thank you for your help! I hope that I wasn't such a drag after all the corrections that I made, pushing the text back and forth to review, review etc. Thank you once more! (pt) P.S.: obviously I cannot retain the nagging question - what do you think of it? | |