| = welcome! | ion a [07.Oct.12 19:42] |
| i like the childhood night and this one best. childhood is a very powerful recapture of emotions and memories, evoked in raw, unadorned images. the machine-gun staccato imposed by the periods after each verse gives it even more credibility the gap is just sophisticated and mysterious enough to leave that shadow of bittersweet but somehow impersonal sadness we experience after seeing a really good movie, like melancholia a couple of sentences might look a little better modified, like: Leaving all of the furniture behind. => Leaving all furniture behind. And a pile of left over past. => And a pile of leftover past. Not in this night. => Not that night. welcome to the site! | |
| = Thank you for the constructive remark | Bettina Katalin [04.Nov.12 14:12] |
| Thank you so much for your 'welcome' and the comment. You are right about the modification- thank you! Greetings, Bettina Katalin | |