| = Linguistics...|
Romulus Campan Maramuresanu
The development of your text invites the reader to follow with a succession of episodes more like a mirror dialogue with an alter ego...
Nevertheless the last stanza needs some linguistic readjustments e.g. "I never saw you once again" which would better be "ever again" if you wish to retain the sentence. Most of us come from non-English backgrounds, and even if I am quite a novelty promoting, deconstructionist of languages to the dislike of many, when it comes to non-experimental writing, we'd better consider traditional syntax.
| = Thank you, Romulus!|
thank you so much for your help, once again!
|+ good work|
[I never saw you again]
only after I read the last verse did I understand the beginning, and what was to follow.
I like your idea, I appreciate how you rehashed a concept from the Odyssey. You transferred it upon the reality of our days and it is how it acquired more power (in contrast with a powerless world, where everyone needs to adapt to some unwritten rules, to which we don't really give any credit)
it's a sort of amnesia practiced in order to be able to live the present at full capacity, and in its full size.
the consequence is that if you try to transfer this power to smb else, it all gets stuck, and the objective backfires on the one with the initiative.
I will be following your work from now on, Bettina
because I see a lot of potential
| = To: Veronica Vãleanu - My deepest gratitude!|
your encouraging and kind comments mean a lot to me, especially because I have felt very uncertain about those texts and actually regretted it terribly, a second after I posted 'lotophagess'. Now, I am so glad I did it, not only because of the positive resonance, but also because I see how constructive those comments are for the writing itself.
Therefore I can only thank you deeply!
With kind regards,