| = . | Veronica Vãleanu [26.Nov.12 11:23] |
| suggestions: [I lied] [upstairs, the neighbour's footsteps] [pricks her nails] | |
| = Thanks | Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu [26.Nov.12 18:17] |
| Thank you, Veronica, but I wanted to say "file". I will think about the other suggestions. | |
| = war time bread... | Romulus Campan Maramuresanu [26.Nov.12 21:12] |
| Hi Christina, Interesting second stanza, with the imagery of trench-moist biscuits lonely women. I don't know if you were aware of the fact that war supplies biscuits are just biscuit shaped and not sweet at all, being actually pieces of very compact and dry bread, which can be consumed only if moistened first in any liquid, but with care for the quantity because they attract so much moist that they completely fill any space in the mug or bowl:-) Just curious if you aware of these facts, and still think that this is about the meaning you wanted to communicate? Sorry for the military memories:-) rcm | |
| = the same | Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu [26.Nov.12 21:27] |
| Hi, Romulus! I am very much indebted to you for explaining to me the true meaning of war biscuits. I was not aware of that, but I see now that the meaning is coherent with the rest of my poem, where everything flows in the second stanza. You don't have to be sorry, thanks for sharing these precious memories :)Sincerely, Cristina without H. | |
| = of common joy... | Romulus Campan Maramuresanu [27.Nov.12 12:59] |
| Hi Cristina, It wasn't me adding the "h"' but this b***y auto-correct in my ipad:-) I had the same thought about you using the biscuit imagery without truly knowing what it is, nevertheless having that sense of belonging so well in the context, but decided not to add this to my comment, but rejoice with you when you'll notice:-) You are right, the second stanza is the central flow-point of you poem, actually so dense in its communication of several level meanings, that it may go well beyond a "lied", sounding as rather war depicting symphony, tamed nevertheless by its tears... Worth reading... All my best. rcm | |
| = ... | Cristina-Monica Moldoveanu [27.Nov.12 18:29] |
| Many thanks Romulus for recommending my poem. My best wishes, Cristina | |
| = the end of loneliness? perhaps not... | Ronald E Shields [05.Dec.12 11:09] |
| Hello Cristina, I have read your poem many times. At first I thought loneliness wrapped in the canopy of heaven might be a sign that there is hope for something better, that the placenta may give birth to a catholicon for desperate loneliness. Finally I came to the conclusion that this is not so, filing her nails to flesh is an act of hopelessness. Loneliness will grind away at her until nothing is left. I hope I have not too terribly misconstrued your meaning. It is a poem well worth reading and re-reading. Sincerely, res | |