| = Hi Florentina|
Corina Gina Papouis
|Welcome to Agonia! :)|
I believe your text is more of a personal nature, appears more like a blog story, which is not necessarily bad, it seems quite genuine, but more of a different kind of text we would post on a front page. Please revise it for now and check some of your grammar (i.e 'That we listen so many times' > That we listened to so many times)
try to get maybe the essence (give some/ leave some)of it and let's take it from there.