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Eric Coursey
[21.Feb.15 07:25]
I really enjoyed this. I liked the language because it felt new but also ageless. REALLY enjoyed the whole dream scene. I only have one suggestion, for me something about te language in stanza 3 seemed incongruous to what had previous been. I felt like the tone jarred. Maybe that was because of the difference between dreams and reality? I might still make the transition smoother.

 =  Thanks jaw
James A Williams
[26.Feb.15 06:44]
Hey Eric, Thanks for the input. I confess that I am uncomfortable with the transition as well and will work on it.

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