| = two different individual states... | Marius Surleac [26.Apr.08 00:15] |
| There is a typing mistake in the second paragraph and I think you’ve wanted to say “I thought I should start Victor’s story” instead of “though”. In the fourth paragraph you’ve used “if I were” - I think it should be “as if I was”. In the ninth paragraph I think you wanted to say “I walked shoulder to shoulder with Victor” not “to Victor” - so please make the corrections. Anyway the basic idea of the text is very expressive, it hangs in balance two states: of limited life and eternal one felt by Pinocchio. The images reflected by this two separated states makes you tear a drop when talking about friendship. Congratulations for your beautiful work. Marius. | |