| = "My past has never been better/than this.... | John Willy Kopperud [05.Jun.08 10:28] |
| ...and that's a wonderful conclusion to a poem that gives this reader a unique impression of memories from childhood/adolescence confronted by strict social surroundings! Just loved it! Cheers from Willy | |
| = Oops, forgot to put you ... | John Willy Kopperud [05.Jun.08 10:29] |
| ...on the list! Willy | |
| = It would be suitable... | John Willy Kopperud [05.Jun.08 13:38] |
| ...with some biographical facts on your personal page, Lee Ann! Cheers from Willy | |
| = ok | Lee Ann Hardt [08.Jun.08 16:12] |
| Thank you for the comments and suggestion. I'll try to add some more to my biography and put new texts here as well. I hope this type of loose rhyme doesn't bother, I'm not much into rhymes or fixed forms, but blank verse isn't my way either :) | |
| = By all means... | John Willy Kopperud [08.Jun.08 10:25] |
| ...it's surely a good thing that you have contributed a bit of bio and a photo. Loose rhyme? That's of no consequence as long as it works - and it works good! Cheers from Willy | |
| = well done... | Marius Surleac [09.Jun.08 11:18] |
| As Willy said, the end of the poem is striking, but also the images inflicted are very communicative, the tonality of the consonants pushes up the musicality of the poem. Great and congratulations for reaching the first page. Sincerely, Marius | |
| = fm | Rodica Vasilescu [09.Oct.12 17:25] |
| ok so this is how i read it: once again / our pale voices / melting in silence milk and honey and tea my ears sealing your lips flesh on plastic / at night my heart beats merely pushing old radio buttons raising no flag my veins tightly mounted / on a violin a numb child playing / the song of a swan from within do you remember our secret my lust / aching dark / aching low like a note almost missed secrets are better forgotten my past / has never been better / than this i think it sounds better this way, at least that's how i saw it. | |