| + Fulfilling haiku here, Marius! | John Willy Kopperud [20.Jul.08 06:51] |
| Strictly within the counting and sounds good too! I pondered a moment upon "Bee's" without a pronoun till I found that your solution establishes a personal perception of the beast. "Bee's" might be perceived as a Christian name. You capture the life and death drama of natural surroundings that seem to be silent and harmonious. I see a star! Cheers from Willy | |
| = Danke Willy! | Marius Surleac [20.Jul.08 15:59] |
| Willy, thank you very much for the star! As for the description of a moment present in nature, I am glad that you've felt the message or (better to use) the scenery. I never thought to "Bee's" as for a Christian name, but it’s good to know. You perceived very well the harmony! Best regards, Marius | |
| = ... | dan marius [21.Jul.08 16:45] |
| yes, and? | |
| = !!! | Marius Surleac [21.Jul.08 17:08] |
| "Yes, and?" - and what Dan? I don't see your point! | |
| = . | dan marius [21.Jul.08 17:12] |
| well it's like so eight "gradish". the bear in the tree in the silent forest. it's like watching cartoons... it's mediocre. cmon. you can do better than that | |
| = development of the idea...answer | Marius Surleac [21.Jul.08 17:43] |
| Dan, if is like you said, that means that the whole idea of a haiku is "gradish". The bear in the tree is not standing there just because it is "gradish", but because attacks the beehive, that's why I used "bee's angry hum" - this is just a scenery from many others that are to be found in nature, the main idea of a haiku. | |
| = . | dan marius [22.Jul.08 09:03] |
| I know what a haiku is, Marius. Yours is plain boring. | |
| = your opinion! | Marius Surleac [22.Jul.08 09:11] |
| Very well. I am glad that is boring for you Dan! Sincerely, Marius | |
| = To be quite precise... | John Willy Kopperud [22.Jul.08 12:47] |
| ...I praise this poem for three qualities; rhythm, alliteratio nand drama. If you find it boring or childish, Dan Marius, it's your personal opinion, which you, of course, are entitled to. One of the main difficulties when you write commentaries is that literary criticism never has been and never can be exact science. The reader perceives the text and his/her personal tastes are essential to the evaluation. Cheers from Willy | |
| = true | dan marius [22.Jul.08 13:05] |
| quite true. | |