| = good! | Marius Surleac [24.Jul.08 09:45] |
| Well, this is a good poem! It has some thoughts that described how great a world would be if these things were true. But also, be careful with that white … it can get dirty as well. About the geometrical forms I’m not so sure but I like the idea. The last two lines are excellent, because wanting to create your own paradise you figure that this is a dream and show compassion in front of God, but the last line sound like a “pay attention!” and makes you think for two perspectives: if you had made this kind of world would be much perfect or less than God’s work? Sincerely, Marius | |
| = :) | Rodica Vasilescu [09.Oct.12 17:25] |
| "I would have made it out of geometric forms disguised in air and water…" sorry, but mostly that's what it's made of :) "We could have swum like fish, we could have flown like birds…" you can do that anyway, it's just a matter of thinking/feeling/seing :) "If I had made the angels, I wouldn’t have made them invisible; I would have had the joy to look at them, to talk to them, I would have had someone’s lap to cry into." if they would be visible they wouldn't be called angels anymore. | |