Members comments:

+ movement!
Marius Surleac
[24.Oct.08 10:26]
I like the imagery created here, the atmosphere of autumn in the park, the dog limping really close to a group of sparrows and the movement suggested by scattering (which I think you have chosen to be smart). Very visual! Well done!

Best wishes,

 =  I perceive this...
John Willy Kopperud
[24.Oct.08 11:14]
..rather as a short poem than a haiku. It's a most striking
short poem, though, with the limping dog and the scattering
sparrows. Vivid images!
Cheers from Willy

 =  Being sensitive to images is my job.
sergiu silvestru
[24.Oct.08 22:27]
Thank you all for sharing, and I'm very glad to receive my first star. As for this poem not being a haiku, I wonder why. It has the essence. It may not have the right number of syllables, but as haiku spread to other languages, rules were relaxed.

But as I'm a professional painter and graphic designer, and not a poet by trade, I am open to hear why it is not (exactly) a haiku.

 =  I accept this now as a Haiku...
John Willy Kopperud
[25.Oct.08 16:41]
...seeing that I have been too preoccupied with the 5-7-5 syllables formula. Most important though; the poem is well written!
Cheers from Willy

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