| = ... until you’ll pass the ribs you’ll lose half of your soul|
|Unyielding, obdurate, disturbing lines, although so lapidary!|
I think the affection and tenderness is (almost) perfectly hidden behind the contrasting harsh images and piercing sound. Nice!
| = paradoxically enough|
|the rib IS the other half... same as blood is the ultimate sacrifice and hair is emotions (a convent with God)|
| = Thank you Ada, Simona!|
|Ada, you've seen well the images and the lapidary part of the poem. The hidden effect you talked about is suggested in the title as well. I am glad you liked it and perceived it well. Thank you very much!|
Simona, you are very closer about what I meant to say with this poem. The "rib" is indeed the other half, with referrals to the old biblical beliefs and "blood" can be seen as a sacrifice as you said but also as giving birth to a child. But is not describing a convent at all. The main idea is about love, pure love.
| = my bad|
|meant "covenant" with God, not convent. "All the days of the vow of his separation there shall no razor come upon his head: until the days be fulfilled, in which he separateth himself unto the LORD, he shall be holy, and shall let the locks of the hair of his head grow." Numbers 6:5|
| = yes Simona...|
|Simona, yes - it's like a covenant as you said but is not directly connected to God, but with references to the primal relation, between Adam and Eve. Then is the suffering as an effect for the cause. All these are transposed in a modern love frame. The "flashes" in fact are some short period memories here.|
Thank you Simona!
| = btw of flashes|
|i think every couple relives the old story of Adam and Eve, wouldn't you say? how many of us are truly righteous?|
| = hmm....|
|Probably ... with some similarities but not totally - you may say so. Also, I haven't said that we are righteous.|
| = I guess|
|i'm more the "cut through the chase" type :-) anyway, nice to have been reminded of THE beginning. and now that we've spoken a bit, I can see the birth scene in your poem. missed it the first time, thought it was a male/female type interaction.|
| = .|
|About that blood - when I wrote the poem I thought about male/female interaction as well, but also to the other two possibilities we talked about. ;)|
| = looks as though|
|you've covered all the bases then :-) best wishes back to you|
| = thanks!|
|Thank you Simona!|
You're always welcome!