| = the good, the bad and the indifferent | ion a [21.Jan.09 04:18] |
| it has some memorable images: "Word stitched to mouth", "The day I’ll finally be born/ something will stopple me, midway inbuilt", "putting flesh/ on the last unhandled taboo" also some really bad ones: "Poetry has tried before to elope with an appendix/ away from my womb", "not having found rest/ on at least one numismatic shelf" and some precious: "stopple", "ossature" you're trying to explain too much, pile images on top of each other. impression is sometimes of a runaway poem, out of the author's control i think if you try to give them a little more structure and cut some of the ballast we could have some really good poems | |
| = let me throw some light | Veronica Valeanu [22.Jan.09 13:38] |
| If you cared to let me throw some light upon the poem [Liposuction], previously mentioned by you, maybe you you'd like to reconsider these "bad" elements: this is about Poetry, de-composed in all its stages and dimensions. It goes from simple - [womb]wherefrom it tends to escape, though powerless, to - [word-mouth], further on to - [I prodigally coast back]. The vicious circle between the poles betrays a wish to settle down on a clearcut territory that hasn't been created yet, a legendary one [numismatic shelf].Following a much too self-eroding/devouring accumulation on simultaneous dimensions,there are 2 conflicting tendencies: to implode/explode. an emphasis on actions in order not to focus on inner reactions, which would seem too melodramatic. the poem [A Password's...] is a struggle between the 2 supremacies: the encrypted vs. the non-verbal, the latter ending up in being assimilated by the first, even if these species have the same origin, but different membranes. the strongest one is the one who leaves more distinct emprints behind [silver star medal, ossification]. in the end they become one. the second stanza represents the non-verbal's "voice". | |