Members comments:

 =  writing according to the contemporary ...
Veronica Valeanu
[10.Apr.09 19:15]
Ienachita Vacarescu in 1770 would have been proud to be the author of this text. If he lived nowadays, he would no longer...
think about adding smth valuable to it.

+ A most pleasing simplicity...
John Willy Kopperud
[11.Apr.09 17:02]
...and beauty of images in this poem!
Cheers from Willy

 =  ...
Veronica Valeanu
[12.Apr.09 21:04]
Dear Willy,
accept this experiment: if you take a let's say 11-year old kid from the street(a normal one, not a gifted poet) and give him this theme: write a poem about smb who is in love and use the term "butterfly" he would probably tell you approximately the same "idea" as used here.
where is that Poetry we all are looking for? (leave aside that imagery!)
thank you Willy for understanding.

 =  veronica v.,
Laurenţiu Ion
[14.Jun.09 13:08]
veronica don't forget that Romanian poetry is very different to English poetry
however, I cannot deny the existence of some emotions masked in childishness, but maybe this is the purpose
I think this poem begins bad & this seriously affects the whole text. it might seem like that school poetry - when I grow up, I would like to be -
The following lyrics saves the text, care & sun's rays are building a beautiful image

 =  again
Veronica Valeanu
[14.Jun.09 13:22]
there is an energy lapse in the intention, in the message in the tools in the image created
let's not search for purposes where they haven't left a single trace
all i was saying should serve as a constructive criticism for the author even if it might seem an urging one

 =  ...
Laurenţiu Ion
[14.Jun.09 13:44]
I never said this poem is good
maybe I'm wrong
I'm curious: do you believe that feelings may be expressed only through a contemporary style?

 =  general feelings vs articulating feelings in writing in space and time
Veronica Valeanu
[14.Jun.09 14:32]
expressing a feeling has a certain universal value

nevertheless people remain imprinted with the mentality of the age when they felt powerful, energetic (their youth/maturity. The perception of the society related to expressing a certain feeling will change in time. people felt differently 10 years ago, 20, 30 etc (this might have smth to do with the trends in lit. but I think the major percentage comes from a collective frame of perceiving things, dictated by the social background)
if people grow older and fall behind with rhythm of that society's needs or grow lonely and their spiritual growth remains suspended somewhere - blocked by the reality emergences- they tend to anchor their consciousness in the period of their life marked by a constant growth .
there is always the danger of remaining stucked in a certain trend
this is the obsolete perception (named and given by the others as as a feedback) because writing and literature is an alive and regenerating process like history, etc.
rhythms never get superposed

 =  er
Veronica Valeanu
[14.Jun.09 15:00]

 =  feelings - voices - ambitions - images - frames
Laurenţiu Ion
[14.Jun.09 15:42]
poetry comes with the fear of spaces (I refer to the space between the two types of poetry we are talking about now) - it would be good we can talk about a sentiment conscience, but only poetry itself has conscience & it behaves as an entity. indeed, it would not be ok for a feeling to remain somewhere in the past, because the whole situation would change
past was an act, present is an act - here the past cannot logically refer to present, but conversely - yes; history will always remain and if a person wishes to proceed as in the past is strictly his problem, although that decision may be wrong
I'm fully agree with you & I'm also convinced that even a child of 10 years can write poetry
here's poetry, not necessarily written as in the past

feelings - voices - ambitions - images - frames
all these can form poetry
content, not form (form can be worked. it's important to keep the feeling)
thank you

 =  As I get back to this...
John Willy Kopperud
[14.Jun.09 16:31]
...I realize that the poem wasn't necessarily worth a yellow star. As to the discussion above I'll have to state that naivety isn't necessarily a personal quality that prevents poetic expression. Sometimes emotion and imagery is enough. Though I must admit that the first two lines are weak.
Cheers from Willy

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