| = your images - Cam | Edilberto González Trejos [22.Jan.07 16:16] |
| surreal and ideal, a magnificent sucession of images and great poetry. Salut Songo | |
| = ivory towers | John Willy Kopperud [22.Jan.07 23:56] |
I fully agree with Edilberto, Camelia. You see, this is what I'm talking about. A couple of minor language faults occur, but that's not enough to destroy this well-written poem. Your potential for improvement lies in some improvement of your English, and that I'm convinced you will achieve! Greetings from Willy | |
| = unreal | Heghedus Camelia [23.Jan.07 08:12] |
| thank you, Songo, I’m glad to hear you again! the ideal of the human being is to find his half, but it seems something that surpasses the reality saludos cami | |
| = disorder in my mind | Heghedus Camelia [23.Jan.07 08:37] |
| Thank you, Willy, for your advice, your appreciation and for your trust in me. I made a few changes but in spite of that, I’m not sure that it is OK now. Greetings from Cami | |
| = ivory towers | John Willy Kopperud [23.Jan.07 09:23] |
| Let's see: Second stanza, second line : Drop the A immediately before ivy. Third stanza, fourth line: Drop THE, immediately before HUMANKIND'S Fourth stanza, third and fourth line (my suggestion): drop THE immediately before LIFE, add HAS immediately after. Add BEEN immediately before left behind, drop the A before rain. That's all and like I said, these small errors do not destroy the poem, but they are connected to the understanding of grammar and you might as well absorb it! As Edilberto I love your images in this one, Camelia! Cheers from Willy | |
| = thousands | Heghedus Camelia [23.Jan.07 11:09] |
| thousands thanks and a lot of gratitude cami | |