Members comments:

= rhymes...
Romulus Campan Maramuresanu
[31.May.07 19:32]
Welcome Alex,

Although your poem has interesting rhymes and ideas, you should work on it a bit more, as it's still pretty "childish", like
I’m bleeding poison from my veins
On my window it now rains
I now dream about your smile
The one I haven’t seen for a while

These are "first level" English language rhymes, keep writing, depth should come...

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= rhymes...	Romulus Campan Maramuresanu [31.May.07 19:32]
Welcome Alex, Although your poem has interesting rhymes and ideas, you should work on it a bit more, as it's still pretty "childish", like I’m bleeding poison from my veins On my window it now rains I now dream about your smile The one I haven’t seen for a while These are "first level" English language rhymes, keep writing, depth should come... Success.