| = Indonesian Translation of your "Moonset" | Yohanes Manhitu [03.Feb.05 18:04] |
| Dear Monica, I am so happy that you like reading my English poems. I think you’re right when saying that one of my poems is so simple. Maybe it is because I am just a simple creature having simple feelings and thoughts. I like keeping my poems simple while maintaining their beauty though it is highly subjective to say so. My reason for writing simple poems is that people in general are afraid of poetry since it is sometimes too difficult to understand. I don’t know your opinion about this. Tell me if you care. I have read some of your poems, and to make them ‘truly mine’ (because I like them), I have done my best to translate two of them into Dawanese and Indonesian. (I should have asked your permission for this). Despite the fact that some people might disagree with poetry translation, I have applied it to make some works of Pablo Neruda, Octavio Paz, Gabriela Mistral, Paul Verlaine, Charles Baudelaire, Fernando Pessoa, etc. known, at least to some of my Indonesian-speaking friends. Here is my Indonesian translation of your beautiful ‘Moonset’. I hope it is not a Judas’ act of your very touching words. In addition, Indonesian (Bahasa Indonesia) is the official and unifying language of the Republic of Indonesia since August 1945. Only in these moments If you only come, I would then become, The song of the torrents. Rembulan Terbenam oleh Monica Manolachi Kutengah menanti, kasih, Di hamparan padang sunyi. Anganku berembus lembut, Di antara pepohonanmu. Kumenanti di kejauhan Di saat yang keliru. Langkah ‘kan susuri jalan Di sepanjang mimpi-mimpimu. Kan kuceritakan kisah, Tentang sepasang langit Yang bermain dengan bintang-bintang Ketika awan-awan tengah berdengkur. Telah kuminta pepohonan Untuk temukan dedaunan rindu Yang sanggup pulangkan mereka Di rumah aram-temaram. Hanya di saat-saat ini Andai kau bisa datang, Maka aku ‘kan jadi, Nyanyian air yang deras. Lalu kau ‘kan tahu, Ufuk berawan apiun Itu satu kecupan langit Yang dilindungi mentari. Rumput tumbuh gembira Dan cahaya pun tercurah Membilang bintang di malam, Satu demi satu, dan mereda. Kutinggal di padang. Rembulan makin tenggelam. Sebaiknya sekarang kau pergi, Karena hatinya tengah menanti. Translated by Yohanes Manhitu Jogja, 3 January 2005 For multilingual poems visit: www.manhitu-poetry.cjb.net | |
| = About translation and simple things | Monica Manolachi [12.Feb.05 18:53] |
| Dear Johanes (or Johnny), There are two points I should discuss. First, you say that “your reason for writing simple poems is that people in general are afraid of poetry since it is sometimes too difficult to understand”. There is some truth in this and you are right to believe it. I agree with you while I am thinking of Mark Twain’s style, for instance, which has become popular for the colloquialism he used in his writings. At the same time, I think that in a foreign language we do not always have the capacity to express the complexness of an idea with the same easiness as we do using our mother tongue. But a long practice and a propensity for understanding languages may improve it. Moreover, everything complex starts with the simplest things. The second issue is about translating poems. It is true that something is lost by translating a text into another language. Nevertheless, if the idea from the original text is not impaired when it is transposed in the second language, we should consider that the text was lucky: the translator was a professional. The question is how we evaluate a translation. I think that the best way is when there is a tripartite point of view. The writer, the translator and the reader are the three magicians of turning an idea from one language into another. I see that you started to learn Romanian too - "mulţumesc". | |
| = Regarding poetry translation | Yohanes Manhitu [15.Feb.05 16:18] |
| Dear Monica, “Mulţumesc” for your response. I agree with your thought that “in a foreign language we do not always have the capacity to express the complexness of an idea with the same easiness as we do using our mother tongue”. To be honest, I have been learning English for many years since secondary school. I also speak and write in this language as often as possible, but still have difficulty expressing myself using it. The same thing happens when I am writing in French, Spanish, or Portuguese. I feel like I’m holding my little candle in a long path of darkness. Sometimes, I’m tired of trying, but I must keep the spirit alive. Yes, it’s true that “a long practice and a propensity for understanding languages may improve it”. Things will improve in the course of time, won't they? Regarding poetry translation, I fail to keep a stanza in the target language almost all the time. The sentences must be restructured in order that the target readers can understand them. It is not enough to recheck a poetry translation only once. The more the better. I am in total agreement with you about the “tripartite point of view”. But we very often encounter problems when translating poems of deceased poets for example those of Pablo Neruda, Emily Dickinson, etc. In this case, the ideal “tripartite point of view” does not seem to work because we have just two magicians - the translator and the reader. Anyway, I don’t think we have to be too anxious about it because the text many times is kind enough to reveal itself, and this is ‘magic’. Learning Romanian? Why not?! It’s worthwhile learning. Basically, I like romance languages. I’ve read the history of the Romanian language and its rich literature. I was surprised to know that the Romans could reach Dacia, where they spread their Latin wings, before the coming of the Slavs. I hope I'm not wrong about this. To tell the truth, I’ve never met any Romanian in person in my lifetime. But, luckily, I’ve met you and other Romanians at agonia. I’m happy. Have a good day, Monica! God bless you! Yohanes Poetry site: www.manhitu-poetry.cjb.net | |