| = stay true | Corina Dragomir [09.Oct.04 19:57] |
| Starting from the title which is supposed to indicate an affectedly pensive mood even though the omission of the subject (either a pronoun or a noun) is obvious to the reader as inadequate, there can be no other ill consequence than an embalmed confinement of states dully unfolded through a series of useless repetitions such as :"how, live, come , want &can". The intensity of the feelings employed risks being altered by them unless they are used when necessary. In the 1st, you have to correct some typing mistakes: can fell - can feel; comming - coming 2nd stanza: you seems to have forgot me - you seem to have forgot (seem + perfective infinitive) 3rd stanza: to forgot - to forget *"cause" (colloquial) must be substituted with "because" or "as" (formal language) *As a whole, it appears to be a perfect form for song lyrics Take care Cory | |
| = thank you for correcting! | camenic andrei lucian [28.Oct.04 02:30] |
| I have replaced the mistakes.But for the title I realy have no ideea. Maybe you can help me. Send me an email at [email protected]. Thanks! Kenny | |