Members comments:

= with a certain open front
Veronica Valeanu
[04.Jun.09 15:53]
the beginning has force i appreciate it
i advise you to get rid of "I seem to enjoy" which is so striking, so artificial - let the reader build that for you
"the successful accomplishment/ of nothing" is again too far-fetched you mislead the reader into a blind alley + try to be cold even arrogant
then you turn melodramatic & rhetoric

Marius you master this language well enough -so turn clues/objects/zooms into perspectives rather than serving them in a rough way on a plate.

a lost cause will be surely lost if you focus upon the meaning; do that to distract our attention upon traces emerging from it (there might be something to be gained from here)
I'll come back
= ground control to major tom :)
dan marius
[04.Jun.09 19:49]
appreciate the feedback, I really do, especially when it comes in such an elaborate way. I don't know what I focus on when I write. Honestly. As for the reader, I think a decent reader should feel free to interpret the text as he (or she) pleases. I don't have anything more to say, I think my text does the talking. Sometimes I don't understand what it says :) Well this is me answering like a fourth grader I know, but that's my (juvenile) opinion about writing, about the writer and the reader. I think that both the writer and the reader are "receivers". And that both writing and reading are beautiful & complete mysteries.
= re
Veronica Valeanu
[04.Jun.09 23:34]
but you should reconsider paying importance to the strategy too, it only adds to inspiration

by the way didn't you say "I believe in love/ and its technicalities" ?
= I think
dan marius
[05.Jun.09 11:14]
the "I believe in love/ and its technicalities" part seems bitingly ironic to me. as for the "strategy" I think that once you've learned to play the guitar, for instance, you rarely focus your attention on your fingers.
= !
Corina Gina Papouis
[05.Jun.09 20:15]
I believe that feed-back is great, however, it's impossible for one poem to fit us all...and I also believe that DM's style is this...and not that, otherwise it would be a VV signed poem, which would probably be as good as but...different and I guess that's just as normal.:)
Cheers to all!
C
= technicalities of playing guitar
ion a
[08.Jun.09 07:18]
"once you've learned to play the guitar... you rarely focus your attention on your fingers"
i think it depends on how difficult whatever you're playing is :)
i used to be a professional violin player. my first teacher always emphasized that i should watch my fingers, particularly when playing on stage. it kind of helps you establish a secondary "circuit" between "soul" and its physical support.
of course, performing arts are very different from literature: on stage there can be no editing, mistakes are forever.

then again, i don't believe "solitary" arts, like literature, can be completely free of improvisation. sure, structure is always in the background of any improvisation, no matter how brilliant of farfetched. but i don't think structure is driving creativity but rather the opposite.

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= with a certain open front	Veronica Valeanu [04.Jun.09 15:53]
the beginning has force i appreciate it i advise you to get rid of "I seem to enjoy" which is so striking, so artificial - let the reader build that for you "the successful accomplishment/ of nothing" is again too far-fetched you mislead the reader into a blind alley + try to be cold even arrogant then you turn melodramatic & rhetoric Marius you master this language well enough -so turn clues/objects/zooms into perspectives rather than serving them in a rough way on a plate. a lost cause will be surely lost if you focus upon the meaning; do that to distract our attention upon traces emerging from it (there might be something to be gained from here) I'll come back

= ground control to major tom :)	dan marius [04.Jun.09 19:49]
appreciate the feedback, I really do, especially when it comes in such an elaborate way. I don't know what I focus on when I write. Honestly. As for the reader, I think a decent reader should feel free to interpret the text as he (or she) pleases. I don't have anything more to say, I think my text does the talking. Sometimes I don't understand what it says :) Well this is me answering like a fourth grader I know, but that's my (juvenile) opinion about writing, about the writer and the reader. I think that both the writer and the reader are "receivers". And that both writing and reading are beautiful & complete mysteries.

= re	Veronica Valeanu [04.Jun.09 23:34]
but you should reconsider paying importance to the strategy too, it only adds to inspiration by the way didn't you say "I believe in love/ and its technicalities" ?

= I think	dan marius [05.Jun.09 11:14]
the "I believe in love/ and its technicalities" part seems bitingly ironic to me. as for the "strategy" I think that once you've learned to play the guitar, for instance, you rarely focus your attention on your fingers.

= !	Corina Gina Papouis [05.Jun.09 20:15]
I believe that feed-back is great, however, it's impossible for one poem to fit us all...and I also believe that DM's style is this...and not that, otherwise it would be a VV signed poem, which would probably be as good as but...different and I guess that's just as normal.:) Cheers to all! C

= technicalities of playing guitar	ion a [08.Jun.09 07:18]
"once you've learned to play the guitar... you rarely focus your attention on your fingers" i think it depends on how difficult whatever you're playing is :) i used to be a professional violin player. my first teacher always emphasized that i should watch my fingers, particularly when playing on stage. it kind of helps you establish a secondary "circuit" between "soul" and its physical support. of course, performing arts are very different from literature: on stage there can be no editing, mistakes are forever. then again, i don't believe "solitary" arts, like literature, can be completely free of improvisation. sure, structure is always in the background of any improvisation, no matter how brilliant of farfetched. but i don't think structure is driving creativity but rather the opposite.