| = and yet knowingly | Veronica Valeanu [16.Mar.10 12:37] |
| i would suggest [bearing] instead of [holding] 3r verse- [have] seems too neutral [wings for flight] is redundant last line - without [that] i liked how you switched from a plan to another, each one offering other sensations. the verse [each time people keep distance/avoiding my eyes] is definitely an interesting reverse of your plan. | |
| = Veronica | Ela Solan [16.Mar.10 14:54] |
| thanks for your comment. I followed you’re suggestions; only about 'bearing' I have doubts because it does not sound good to me with all other “b” around (been / before / burning)... although the meaning of 'bearing' would be probably more suitable... Elsa | |
| = e | Veronica Valeanu [16.Mar.10 14:53] |
| Ela, you are right! I hadn't taken that into consideration. I'm anxious to read more from you. | |