| = let the music play | Veronica Valeanu [24.Jun.11 10:05] |
| rapid visual synapses which are an ubiquitous peak, this lends the reading a lasting pleasure some amendments: writing the word [love] like that l o v e makes the idea artificial. you should rewrite that line in order to render the meaning in the shape of exploding space, not the image and the ending [peut-etre passengers on a late train from here to ] -could definitely be improved. the French word is not a necessary focus, on the contrary. keep writing, strengthening your resources. | |
| = . | Adrian Gologan [24.Jun.11 12:02] |
| Thanks,Veronica. I´ll work on your suggestions. | |