| = you've made my day|
|I have just read the Romanian version of the poem, still loving it, the only word that bothers me is' sifted' I would've personally made it something more vintage and more ' lingering' although , I have to say, it does depend on the kind of rain.|
You have just made my day.
| = the art of 'less is more'|
Corina Gina Papouis
|..I think the last two verses sum up a whole philosophy.:)|
| = sifting rain maybe?|
|the verb tense would get a little out of focus, but after all, it's rain, sifting, kind of a blur suggestion anyway|
| = Thank you|
|Thank you all for your kind comments, very much appreciated. |
Ion: there is a price to pay when you condense the contents to fit into the English modern standard of tanka, or the traditional Japanese form, for that matter. It expects more imagination from the reader. The rain has been sifted through leaves, drop after drop, for a long time, measured in storms, and the same has happened to the life of the child that many years ago was anxious/dying to grow up fast and now is old and therefore literally close to dying. A simple play of words...
| = Amazed|
James A Williams
|A writer of prose, I am amazed that you are able to say with less than 50 words what it would take me more than 5000. I have been following your poetry and will continue to do so. Some awesome photos too! Thank-yo for translating into English. I wouldn't mind translating it into Spanish but don't think that it would hold up well through three languages. Thanks again. |
| = James|
|This isn't a translation, I write in English. I had it translated to Spanish and will post it soon. Thanks for your comment.|