Members comments:

 =  .
Veronica Vãleanu
[07.Aug.12 10:25]
[when playing, we won't be able to hear the soldiers' steps] instead of [playing, we'll can't hear the soldiers step]
-because the modal vb "can't" doesn't allow the typical auxiliary "will" for the future; you have to use its alternative "won't be able to"
[cuddle/snuggle] instead of [are grasping behind our shoulders]

and do smth about that part: "it s still summer in the sky / winter is in the air}, it's the weakest part of the text

 =  look...
Anni- Lorei Mainka
[07.Aug.12 12:26]
My final verses are for me so short and explain exactly what I want.
The change at the beginning - : I did it...
Thank you for your help. It helps really after so many years to train words and emotions.

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