| = looking forward to reading more from your pen! | Jan Pengelly [30.Dec.05 03:18] |
| a word-weave that's intricate, deep, visceral... at the first read-through I'd thought your line 'forgotten disco nostalgia' to be out of sync with the rest, not so well-woven more of a loose thread BUT this vanished with the second and third read-through. Now I see the imagery and its placement perfectly. my favourite lines have to be these: divulged to the ripen field of wheat that breathes the contour of my soles taming my charred despair the predator tide | |
| = just wonderful | Jan Pengelly [30.Dec.05 03:19] |
| this has to be my favourite part of a wonderfully delicate piece: the hidden side of me divulged to the ripen field of wheat that breathes the contour of my soles taming my charred despair the predator tide feeble at times hymning of you on first read-through I thought there seemed an anomaly with your line 'forgotten disco nostalgia', but on taking more care second time round I discovered the meaning just as pertinent to the scenes being created and that it was a part of yet another sympathetic image. | |