| = great! please read this reversed version | Veronica Valeanu [09.Mar.09 14:13] |
| sail, not sale. there is a good poem! a pirate in quest of the biggest capture of his life, the leviathan (authentic poetry itself). something to transcend time, space,significance. suddenly i have a revelation: if you haven't thought, this poem could also be written in a reversed perspective! please imagine that the protagonist could be the leviathan himself(!) in search of fish/verses and pirates to devour. let me show you this reversed version: i sail adrift. the seas are being of no avail nowadays for a leviathan of poetry. not one verse against the horizon. Not even those who used to hang mutinied words on the black mast of their galleons. an atlantic sun would have dried them up and carried them inside my mouth. there was a time when lagoons with coffee breasts used to drip verses down in my thousand tongues i spoke with to the world. not one verse against the horizon. ho ho ho at least, this bottle of rum to angle me inside. at last. all the best, Veronica | |
| = reversed vision | Veronica Valeanu [08.Mar.09 13:56] |
| a pirate dying to catch the biggest capture of his life, a ghostly one. he perhaps knows he might die in this battle, but it is the ultimate one. suddenly i have a vision. do you know that this poem could be reversed? please read this version and give me a feedback. Leviathan of poetry i sale adrift. Seas of no avail. (There were times when i could glimpse the remotest fish by their unwritten scales.) Not even one against the horizon. Not a trace of those who used to hang mutinied wording upon the black mast of their galleons. The atlantic sun would have dried them up and carried their bones inside my mouth. There were times when lagoons with coffee breasts used to spell my every sipping. in all the languages of the world. ho ho ho and a bottle of rum! Not one verse against the horizon. your poem already got under my skin. regards, veronica | |
| = veronica...a totaly different view. | Horia Mocanu [09.Mar.09 10:55] |
| hello veronica. an interesting observation indeed, but if you think about it creates an entirely new poem. mine was about hunting the words, catching the leviathan of poetry, a sort of moby dick if you wish, the pirate that can write no more, or perhaps a lack of inspiration, as you so clearely understood. one thing is certain...your english translation is far better. thanks for visiting and i'm waiting for more constructive suggestions. it is refreshing to find new view about one's poetry. cheers. horia | |
| = boomerang | Veronica Valeanu [09.Mar.09 11:12] |
| my perception of your poem was a mirror-like one(i wouldn't change your poem). maybe there is a leviathan side in all the writers that awaits for a sign. kind regards, Veronica | |
| = . | Veronica Valeanu [09.Mar.09 11:13] |
| *awaits a sign | |