| = daniel:) | Irina Iacovescu [01.May.04 21:19] |
| I have a question to ask you! You say "the last bit of paradise living me" - is it living from to live, or leaving - from to leave?! I couldn't tell, so I'm asking you... In the romanian version I was talking about death, not about life:) | |
| = Irina :) | Daniel Dinescu [01.May.04 21:53] |
| I have a 'piece of heaven', not a 'bit of paradise', sweetheart, but, yes, is "leaving", thank you! :) Best wishes, Daniel | |
| = a couple of corrections | kurt cnejevici [09.May.04 21:30] |
| please correct the following: first verse: “What did you left”, should be: “what did you leave “ Also, second verse: should be “ read” not “ red” thank you. | |
| = Kurt | Daniel Dinescu [10.May.04 17:12] |
| You could have also an opinion about my text, Kurt, but anyway, thank you for watching! Yours, Daniel | |
| = follow-up opinion | kurt cnejevici [11.May.04 01:34] |
| Here is my opinion about the text: the translation follows pretty closely the original poem from a content point of view. However, I think the flow of verses which can be felt in the Romanian version is altered by some of the words or phrasing you have chosen. For example: “the pats and your steps”, “burnt and dry soul”, “crucified loneliness”, “Today I need to be quiet”. In my opinion, that whole section should be changed to be more “fluid” if you wish. | |
| = Like it! | Georgiana Vasiliu [01.Oct.04 17:20] |
| I disagree a little with what Kurt said. I think the fact that the poem is so blunt is what gives it uniqueness. I even like the grammar mistakes somehow they belong. | |