Translated by Mona Lepadatu



‘Woman, where are my little hearted socks?’ asks Frusina angrily.
‘How should I know, dear?’ replies Jenica putting her hands akimbo, warrior style. ‘With the mess in the house no wonder you can no longer find anything.’
‘What are you talking about, Jenica!?! I tidied the drawers no later then last week, on the morning before going to the gay meeting.’
‘You’ve turned American, Frusina! How many times should I repeat it to you: it wasn’t just their meeting, it was ours as well, all of us.’
‘OK, woman. Our meeting, all of us’ concedes Frusina.
‘Frusina, and if you keep calling me ‘woman’, I’ll throw these slippers at you, do you hear me?! Find your socks alone, they must be there, in the wardrobe, where you get rid of everything.’
‘Jenica, my dear half. How can I explain it to you so that you will understand, I’ve looked for them until my eyes popped out of their sockets: nothing. They are gone, and that’s that!’
‘Frusina, you no longer care for me, I see that now. You keep telling me off, you call me to the kitchen only to slice your bread, you send me to the market… To cut the story short, you pick fights with me over nothing … For example, after I iron your skirts you crease them on purpose to yell at me, and in the morning you hardly kiss me good-bye. Dear, if you don’t like our marriage anymore, tell me and I’ll find someone else in no time. And certainly someone better than you.’
‘You don’t say! And who the hell is going to take you now, woman? All your charm is gone.. You’re like a woodpecker with only a few feathers left and a lot of airs on top of that. So shut your mouth, dearest! And look what we are going to do: I withdraw into the office to leaf through the newspapers a little, and you’d better quickly find my little hearted socks. You know they bring me good luck when I wear them, and tonight I want to beat the Ionescu family at gin-rummy. Or you want me to make a fool of myself? To have a bad name in the Light Valey district… Come on, quick! Call me when you find them!’ adds Frusina and gets out of the bedroom.

“You’ll see!’ mumbles spitefully Jenica fumbling through the drawers in great haste. ‘Listen to her, my charm is gone! The buffalo cow! I have to get even by all means, to make her jealous! To make her crawl on her knees, wretched creature, to ask forgiveness, to beg in front of me and… to even go to the market. She believes herself to be Miss Bucharest and no less! What’s this? A letter: To Jeni Barbulescu.. I’ll be! It’s for me! It must have slipped from Frusina’s mail. Who is it from…’

‘Dear Mrs. Jenica,

I respectfully apologize to be writing to you but an extraordinary discovery makes me contact you this way. Tonight, after Mrs. Frusina leaves, please turn on the light in your bedroom three times, and I will come to you right away.
Yours sincerely,

Zinica’

‘But that’s the neighbour who lives across our place, the one whose husband cheats on with the whole neighbourhood. He says he is a painter and needs new models all the time. Stupid woman! How can these women, who call themselves “straight’, allow themselves to be cheated on, put down by some… men. Look at my little Frusina. She can be mean, but she has never cheated on me! Yes, we argue sometimes, like all women, we are from the Balkans after all, it’s natural, but when it comes to love, we love each other endlessly. Wow! What a good idea just crossed my mind… What if I took advantage of this stupid and make Frusina jealous. Ha! Ha! See what fit she’s going to have!’

‘Jenica!’ calls Frusina angrily. ‘Have you found my little hearted socks, it’s already ten o’clock..’
‘I haven’t even looked for them, dear! And you know what? Look, with my expired charm as you say, I can always prove to you how quickly I can find someone else. A woman who will appreciate me for who I am and what I do, someone with a good heart.’
‘Really, Jenica!’
‘You don’t believe me, do you? Well, look at this: I turn on and off the lights in the bedroom and my girlfriend will show up.’
‘I’ve lived to see that! How your mind works, woman…, bursts Frusina under her breath and sits down comfortably in the armchair in front of the TV.
‘Right away, Frusina. Wait and you’ll see…, you wanted proof that I have admirers, didn’t you?’ crosses her arms Jenica and sits down stiffly on the edge of the bed. ‘Did you hear that? The doorbell! Go, dear, and open the door to my lover’, says she, provokingly raising her left shoulder.

‘Who are you and what do you want at this hour?’ goes Frusina’s voice and she immediately reappears in the bedroom pulling behind her a troubled young woman.
‘You know, I didn’t expect to…’
“What didn’t you expect? To find me home, right? You were coming to… but wait a minute! Aren’t you the neighbour next door? Tartache’s cuckold? Your name is Zinica, I think.’
‘Yes, it is me. But I won’t allow you to talk to me like that.’
‘In my house I can do anything. What do you want, in fact? To seduce my lover? Didn’t you like the … other ones? Or because of you dear husband you decided to…’
‘Mrs. Frusina, if you allow me, I will tell you…’
‘Tell be what, you cuckold? What do you want from my Jenica?’
‘Enough! Your Jenica can confirm that…’ starts Zinica.
‘Confirm, you say! You really are lovers… Listen to that, the dumb is cheating on me!’
‘Confirm that this is the first time we meet. I have only written to her a few lines…’
‘Hear, hear! You set up dates through letters, that is!’ shouts Frusina angrier and angrier.
‘I asked her to let me know through lights signs when you are gone…’ tries to justify herself Zinica.
‘Lights signs…, a whole conspiracy!’ says Frusina, hands akimbo.
‘You see, dear’ Jenica cut in, ‘tell me now I have lost my charms…’
‘Shut up, woman! Shut up or I won’t be responsible for myself anymore! Or maybe you want a new gap in your teeth?’ fires up Frusina.
‘Madam Frusina, do you allow me to talk to madam Jeni? We have become ridiculous with this useless argument’ laments Zinica.
‘But please, don’t be shy. Talk, dear, talk… Go ahead’, Frusina withdraws mumbling.
‘Mrs. Jenica, I want to ask you if your… hmmm… husband, that is madam Frusina here, wears by any chance little hearted socks.’
‘I don’t’, cuts in Frusina lively.
‘Of course she does. Don’t you, dear ? You nearly killed me until a moment ago because you couldn’t find your lucky socks… But why do you ask?’ asks Jenica surprised.
‘Because I found these right in our bedroom.’