How David and I Quarrel: A Poem for Lovers
poetry [ ]
by sharnelle guthrie [ngiovannifan1]





Sometimes I sit on my bed...thinking about the words I
Said...while not ruthless...certainly they mean something to you...I did not intend for them to mean...
...So I turn on my radio...in hopes that some inspiration
Will come...I wish I could talk to you...
...The pictures on my wall speak only to me of you... Insanely even my upside down poster of Kurt Cobain...can't even help me to gather up the courage to tell you...
That even though our time together has been short...half a year is something...and so I kind of developed this habit of thinking of you...
...In the hours shortly after midnight... and throughout and through the day...when the clouds have performed their dance across the restless stage littered with buckles from Orion's belt...the light flirts its way into my room...peeking into the silver curtains...
You may think this is foolish...but when I said...maybe
you should come and live with me...I didn't mean to throw all my cards on the table...I didn't mean to pour my heart out... I didn't mean to make you angry...you say "Baby I'll think about it"...frankly I don't know what that's supposed to mean...don't be stupid...you say... of course you're interested...You couldn't just stop loving me...but why am
I practicing not having you?
...If sticking around means getting the busy signal... hearing the voicemail...coming in second...then sometimes I don't know if love is even worth it...you pouring your heart out was never the expectation...all i know is that... we belong together...this love...this emotion comes crashing into the beating thing inside my chest...and sometimes it's a bit overwhelming...
...You're going through some things and you don't know
Where to start...so you keep busy...to get through the day...but the nights are always the hardest...the most
Trying...the difficult...so maybe what I'm trying to say to
You is that I can be there for you...I can stick it out...I can wait...I've grown accustomed to it...I want to help...any way you need me to...
...And so maybe that's my worst trait...I am always willing to compromise...and it's always my heart that ends up in the blender...and it's not like the indulgence of over eating...or chain smoking cigarettes...compromising gets me all broken up...crumpled up into many pieces if you will...and what I do is fall back On my art...because of my unwillingness to control my feelings...all you have to say is...Bella...I need time to get my head together...I need to understand the direction my life is heading in...
Then I could have done that for you...I would have
Waited...silently contemplating the pictures on my wall...
...Watching the sun rise and set...and Dave the phone
Would not have to ring at all...I would still be happy for
You...
...Palms sweaty...griping the pen...I would have written
You love letters...in the sweet hope that one day you'd
Read them...realizing we do what we have to do...to
Make it through the rough times...to silence the heart...to feed the agonizing hunger of your dreams.