14th of November
This is the sad story of a sadder ashtray named Ashley Ashtray. This story is about me and my sad life. Hi. I’m Ashley Ashtray. Sometimes, I remember my childhood… Everyday I was going to school with my best friend, Fran Frazzle, and I learnt all day long about how to collect ash while being an ash tray, about how to stay put on the table while being an ash tray, even about how to deal with your loneliness while being an ash tray… how to not have a life while being an ash tray… generally about how to be an ash tray.
Those were the good days… Nevertheless, my whole life changed when I fell in love. Cursed love! You know, ash treys love too! They also have feelings and they are very easily hurt by being given no attention… I hate all the people who give no attention to their ash treys… But, back to my story now. Therefore, I fell in love with a cigar: Fumy Gation. It had a long curly fume and a red fire on top through witch you could see the bottom of its soul. Did you know that cigars also have a soul? They really do! But nobody cares about their soul anymore, and everyone treats them like some lifeless…unimportant… little…things! I hate all people who cut cigars dead! But back to my dear Fumy. It died very young, leaving me all alone. Now, as I stay here, crying my eyes red (ashtrays have eyes, you know…), I am thinking of suicide. I will jump off the table. Nobody can stop me!...
This actually supposed to be a testament, but I have nothing to leave behind, and nobody to leave to, because I have nothing except the memory of my dear Fumy. So, as Pink Floyd said in a song, “Goodbye, cruel world, I’m leaving you today, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye”…

15th of November
Hey… It’s Ashley speaking…again… You know that suicide nonsense that I talked about yesterday… Well… You know… ashtrays can be very inconstant… (You knew that, didn’t you?)… so… I… you know… changed my mind… because… ashtrays can do that… so…I am keeping my life… yeah.