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■ Venus and Adonis ![]()
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 2007-04-25 | |
a people for an underwater city...
If I invent ten thousand different personalities, maybe you'll find one you like. "My I's come and go without bothering to consult me." In love, he morphs wildly from moment to moment, until one day, surprised to discover he no longer recognizes himself in the mirror. Maybe if he'll assume different names and locations, he'll turn into an infinite ocean of depths, entangling every permutation of his other possible lives β realizing the imaginary, imaginizing the real. Like someone possessed, his body didn't belong to him alone β he gave it (he couldn't help himself) to whomever he fell for. "When I grow up, I want to become an archipelago." he said. "Spread out over a flickering sea, I would collect lost and drifting things and pile them into ziggurats on my shifting shores." Other boys wanted to become firemen when they grew up; he wanted to become a siren; a salamander, a water lily, a sandpiper, a tide pool. If you wanted to know him, you'd have had to meet him at the water's edge. If you wanted to love him β plunge in. That last night he dreamt of only speaking Spanish, and everyone else spoke only Russian. They were having a picnic on a breezy hill. Everybody was laughing as the samovar boiled away on the grass. He was a new embodiment of a Don Quixote, except the wheels of fate he was milling about begun outgrowing the blindnesses of his youth without replacing them with grown-up habits of unseeing. So he kept on changing blinkers from time to time (glimpsing reality's brilliance during the fleeting transition from one darkness to another), the best he could hope for. To write..he wanted to reach every nature's imperfection and detour. "Today I'll be a sunflower stalking the sun. Tomorrow I'll be a telephone sending electric messages across the sea. Next I'll be a hill passing the time as hills do. And then I'll be an antswarm in a rainspangled forest." And then... "If I were God I'd die laughing." Voices, always voices β an unsleeping multitude's incessant babble. He became a virtuoso improviser, composing inarticulated sonatas on the fly, none of which he committed to paper until he was 63. Over the next twenty years, he transcribed 555 sonatas, singing in tongues to fetch himself back from the underworld. "I don't need an Orpheus β I'll sing my own way out of hell." Sliding down the slope of night, his music's chromatic delirium uncrumpled the crumpled day crinkling in the bone-tired skull. Skull, tired bone, uncrumpled in crinkling chromatic music, nightslope downsliding. The rippled shimmerings of lacewinged waves washed over his face, revirginized by violins. Violins revirginized by waves, lacewinged ripples shimmering. Enfolded in polyphonic pleats β sonorous origami β he folded into a black swan in love with water. Waterlove into polyphony. "Dive in!" he screamed. His nocturnal wings unfurled into a submarine gamelan β seagarden of echoing gongs, aquatic carnival of furious xylophones. Furious carnival, xylophones unfurled aquatic gongs β submarine nocturnal, seagarden gamelan. Risingfrom sonic depths, windy trumpets hurled him back into the night's purple mouth where he would explode into a burning tongue luminous with questions. Rising questions exploded into luminous tongueburning trumpets. Silence. ...and then 555 ways of looking at a harpsichord 555 digital diversions, nimble finger dances 555 kaleidoscopic variations on a theme 555 indefatigable beginnings 555 yes yes yeses 555 sonorous folds in a shimmering fan 555 time machines thrilling through time 555 love letters to a world that will go on without him 555 stained-glass windows of a baroque cathedral 555 unanswered questions 555 gifts to future strangers 555 twittering machines 555 duets of life and death 555 gems of crystallized time 555 maps of a mobile mind 555 odes to joy 555 moving sculptures in sound 555 essays on the unsayable 555 ethereal epitaphs on tombstones of air 555 virtual rendezvous for separated lovers 555 masks for a dancing Proteus 555 mirrors of emotions in motion 555 stars in a singing constellation 555 involuntary memories from an Italian childhood 555 miniature worlds revolving round each other in infinite time 555 major and minor utopias 555 avatars of a transmigrating bliss 555 rungs in a ladder to silence 555 lucid dreams of an open-eyed dreamer 555 invisible cities of the mind 555 children to take care of him in his old age 555 fluent homages to water 555 radiant hymns to the sun 555 just-because's 555 voyages through oceans of sound in search of undiscovered archipelagos 555 portraits of possible and impossible selves 555 signatures accepting life's inscrutable terms 555 imaginary arrows shot into a future beyond imagining 555 ways to meet his twin soul. Curiouser and curiouser as he went on, couldn't resist following each wandering smile to the next wonderland...
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