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￭ The Angel in the Window
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2008-01-05 | |
Sing- Iím trying to sing but the light is putting me away, crying, laughing, Iím trying to stayÖ
Thunder is coming across the roads of the broken city, Iím empty, and weíre all empty but so full. Smiling faces and a big thought, weíre all so sad, weíre trying to be cool. Death is just our reason to live and love is our road to death. Do we love? Does love exist?
Donít answer! Iím trying to pretend itís not raining but water makes me cold, so coldÖ
Not watching you is like a torture and looking into your eyes is a penalty, itís prison, itís my end, itís my stupidity, itís my nothing, itís my allÖ
Sing, cry, smile, dieÖ please donít die when I die, please donít laugh when I laugh because youíll think itís Godís fault, it isn't, I donít believe in God. Donít try, donít even try to lie, Iíll go away without even saying ďgoodbyeĒ because I donít want to see your ugly face looking in the mirror. Do I love you?
Donít answer! Iíll pretend itís not what it is, Iíll pretend I've always been empty and shadows follow me beneath the path. The path, the way, the roadÖ what are we looking for?
Be happy! Are you happy? You've always smiled when sunrises gave you green eyes looking at the beautiful spaces, beautiful buildings, beautiful cars, beautiful life, beautiful warÖ
Broken, itís all broken, I've broken your eyes, your nose, your head, your breath, your hair, your neck, I could never brake your heart, I tried, I tortured myself but itís so difficult to break itÖ do you have it?
Donít answer! Iím trying to look for my other friend, Iíve lost him because of you, Iím lying now, that never happened, you didnít steal my friends, you killed them, I hate my friends because you hate them, Iím lying, I never hated youÖ
Iím crawling, begging you, I hate the morning, I hate the days when I see you smiling because summer isnít autumn anymore.
I can see bones, I can see flowers, I can see my dark, I can see you when Iím empty, you make me empty, you look so green, you look so full in your smilingÖ my eyes are bleeding, Iíve got to stop looking at you, Iíve got to stop smiling, Iíve got to goÖ
Something round, something so sharp, something so ugly but beautiful, hate me, please hate me, hate my eyes as much as I love yours, hate my ears, hate my neck, hate my books, donít hate my thoughts, donít look at me because I love you again and again and I need to smile, you wonít let me smile and I always cry writing about youÖ Iím lying, I never wanted to smile. Leave me alone, hug me, laugh about my stupidity, laugh because I need you to laugh, laugh when I cry, Iíll cry for your laughing days, Iím just another book in another library, in another city, in another countryÖ
Give me colors, please color my soul, my heart, my dreams, my hands, my eyesÖ drink the coffee that comes from my blood, my mouth, my smile, kiss my coffee, drink me, smoke me, let me scream, let me smoke, I want to be your cigar but you donít smoke and youíll never smoke, I want to be your autumn, your winter, you hate my spring, you hate my summer, youíll always look away, look above your black, your greyÖ
Bow, I want to bow but I can never see your eyes, green, so greenÖ your green makes me black, my brown makes you hate my seasons, you hate my water, my air, my nothing, Iíve always looked for your everything, I found your water, you wonít let me look for your air, your thoughts, your dreams, Iím looking for the morning when you shave your beardÖ Iím lying, I saw your beard was never shaved.
I saw crows, I saw the sky, I never saw your sky, you never let me fly because you donít know what crows mean to me, nobody knows my white, nobody knows our colors, do they know your green? I wish I could steal your blue but youíve always had green and I didnít see it, youíve always had the everything from my brown, you hate every color that comes from inside me! Please, look away, close your eyes, stop your white, stop colors, please stop, please, please stop!
Stop running so slow, youíre slow in me, youíre fast in my mind, I hate my mind, liar! Iím sorry I lied, I never saw you slow in me, you were in someone, Iíll kill the shadow that kills me, kill me, youíll kill me one day, youíll kill my colors, youíll make me white, Iím so black when I look into your nothing, drink my juice, my water, my coffee, hot chocolate, hot air, hot sun, hot ice in the summer eating winter. Let your autumn in my spring, let your dreams circle into a ring, begin like a dead king, begin with the end, letís end our beginning, letís draw colors, letís put apples in front of our faces, letís never eat apples, letís never talk if apples are empty, the pigeon is full and your apple is so empty, so colorful, so greenÖ but, your hat is missing, youíve got a missing hatÖ Iím lying, you never had a hat, you were so cold like my raining day, I started to rain, I was your cloud, Iím not the sky, Iím your ground, Iím your carpet, youíve always stepped on me, youíve always spit on me, I was your nothing, Iím still your nothing and everything is in my color, my color loves your black, my white is in love with your green. Eat chocolate, eat the nothing in me, drink my coffee, my juice, my teaÖ Iím sorry, we all hate tea, I wish your tea is better than my dead grandfather buried near your emptiness.
I hate your history, I hate your pen, I hate your negative thoughts when I remember your jokes, you make me smile but I always wake up crying because I laughed, I hate laughing because youíre so white, youíre the smiling I need at 8 oíclock in the morning, youíre my last words at midnightÖ
Paintings, I see paintings, I see you, I see you in a painting, I see us never meeting, Iím looking into your eyes, I hate the way you ignore my eyes looking at your painting. I hate your eyes, I hate your lips, I hate your voice, I hate myself because I hate the way I felt in love with you, Iím lyingÖ I never hated your lips, I love them so much, I wish I could touch in a second your whole life in our kiss, I wish I could hate you, Iím so emptyÖ
Laugh, please laugh, I love your smile, I hate the weather, I hate the clouds, I hate your cloudsÖ Iím lying, I never looked at your clouds the way you looked at me when I closed the doorÖ
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