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￭ In our image and our likeness
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2006-05-14 | |
Statement: Before reading this text, you should know that this is a fan-fiction screenplay; the location, characters and past events are copyrighted by Warner Bros. Movie Company and the "Gilmore Girls" screenwriters Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino. This is my imagination of what I would like the plot to be. Here is a part of a imaginary episode of the "Gilmore Girls", written by me.
(Lorelai lies up in the bed, surrounded by five or six pillows, covered by a blanket. She looks awful, she is cold and she is very pale, with a red nose and a voice like coming from a tomb. She acts like she is feverish. Rory enters her room and stops at the door, looking at her mother. Lorelai has her eyes closed, like she is sleeping. But she hears steps and opens her eyes.)
Rory: Hi mom!
Lorelai (Her voice is rusty, like a voice of an old man that smoked his entire life): Hi hun! Come in; donāt be afraid, I wonāt bite you!
(Rory enters in the room.)
Rory: Thatās the least of my concerns right now. Michel told me that youāre sick. Oh, you poor thing!
Lorelai: How do you know Iām sick? Maybe Iām not sick, maybe Iām just a good actress.
Rory: Mom, seriously, you look sick, you sound sick. Bottom of line: you are sick.
Lorelai: The fun part is that now I can understand what dogs say to each other. (She makes desperate gestures with her hands.) Oh, I canāt be sick: I have so many things to do today: I have to pay all the bills for the inn, to make sure that Sookie doesnāt spice up the food because we have the Jeffersonās and they donāt like spicy food and then thereās the couple thatā¦
Rory: You are not feeling well and Iāll take care of you for the rest of the day.
Lorelai: No, no, noā¦ you go and doā¦ whatever you and Logan do when youāre together.
Rory: Yes, yes, yesā¦ I already spoke with him and heās totally with me on this.
Lorelai: OK. Iām sick! But I still am a very good actress!
(Roryās cell phone rings. She grabs her cell phone from her right jacket pocket and looks on the screen. )
Rory: Paris. Iāll better answer before she sets Rome on fire like Nero. Iāll be right back.
(She leaves the room and speaks at the cell phone on the hallway. At the precise moment when Rory leaves the room, the phone in Lorelaiās room rings. She answers with laziness in her gestures.)
Lorelai: Umā¦ yeah?
Emily: Hello Lorelai!
(Lorelai suddenly lifts when she hears her motherās voice.)
Lorelai: Yes motherā¦
Emily: I was just thinkingā¦
Lorelai: What mother?
Emily: Lorelai, at least once please pretend that you are glad to hear me.
Lorelai: My entire body just crashed so I have to stay in bed for like a monthā¦ Please donāt ask me to be nice in these conditions!
Emily: Well, anywayā¦ Richard and I were at Marciaās gathering yesterday and we ran into Christopher.
Emily: Yes. And he wants to start a business. It seems something important.
Lorelai: Cut to the chase, mother.
Emily: Polite as always Lorelai! Anywayā¦ he misses you and Rory.
Emily: And nothing.
(We hear Richardās voice in the background.)
Richard: Emily, you know that if the Margarita stays more than 5 minutes at 50 degrees is as good as an ice tea on a freezing day!
Emily: Lorelai, I have to go. Your father suddenly became an expert of the refined drinks.
Lorelai: Tell him that I said āhiā.
Emily (to Richard): Lorelai says āhiā.
Richard (his voice in the background): Oh, thatās nice of her. Tell her that I said āhiā back.
Emily: Richard saysā¦
Lorelai: I heard that, mother.
Emily: OK then. I expect you and Rory on Friday.
Lorelai: Wait, thatās it? You just called me to say that you saw and obviously talked to Christopher?
Emily: I just thought you should know. I have to go, your father is very anxious.
(We hear a āclickā. Emily hungs up. Lorelai hungs up also and she looks like she is thinking at something.)
Lorelai: And yet, my day became worse!
(Rory enters the room again, putting her cell phone into her jacket pocket.)
Rory: Who were you talking to?
Lorelai: Your grandmother. She and dad apparently ran into Christopher at some fancy gathering.
(Rory sits on the bed, next to Lorelai.)
Lorelai: Yes, and he misses you and me. And she called just to tell me that. Somethingās not right; she has to have an ulterior reason. She is planning something. Oh, I donāt know, I canāt think clearly right now.
Rory: Shish, just lie down and sleep!
Lorelai (She arranges nervously the pillows and laying back): Hey, donāt shish me! I am still your mother! A mother that is about to go nuts if she doesnāt do something that doesnāt involve cuffs and headaches and medicine. I am bored!
Rory: Well, you can write a lullaby song for your future grandchildren.
Lorelai: Honey, I prefer being sick then thinking about grandchildren.
Rory: OK, as you wish. Itās nothing wrong to think about the future.
Lorelai: I hope this is way far in the future! From way far to extremely way far! So far that I canāt even imagine myself there!
Rory (She raises of the bed and heads towards the door): You should really get some rest. Iāll get you some aspirin, a nice cup of tea and a nice smile. (She smiles pretty to Lorelai.)
Lorelai: Can I get a Martini instead of that cup of tea? Please, pleaseā¦
Rory (Bends her head, disapproving her mother): Drugs and alcohol! (Rory puts her hand on Lorelaiās forehead): You got fever. No wonder youāre delusional.
Lorelai: You mean thing! I wonāt smile you back! Now go and get me that aspirinā¦
(Rory leaves the room and goes down the stairs. We hear Lorelaiās voice.)
Lorelai: And donāt forget about that Martini!
Rory (Speaks loud, for Lorelai to hear her): I heard that! Delusional!
- The next morning -
LORELAI AND RORYāS HOUSE
(Itās a sunny autumn morning. Rory enters the house in good humor. She has in her hands a bag full of croissants and two big cups of coffee from Lukeās Diner. Lorelai comes down with a sleepy face. Rory puts the bag of croissants and the coffee on the kitchen table.)
Lorelai (She acts like a zombie, entering the kitchen. She still has that rusty voice): Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
Rory: Morninā! Why are you up? Get in bed, now!
Lorelai: Morninā to you to, guard of the Inquisition!
(She and Rory sit down on the table)
Rory: How are you feeling?
Lorelai: Dizzy, hungry and dehydrated. Now Iām not any doctor, but I know whatās wrong with me: I suffer of lack of caffeine.
Rory: I wanted to make you a surprise, something like breakfast in bed, served on a plate. I even wanted to put you a nice flower in a vase on the plate.
Lorelai: Honey, I could smell the coffee three blocks away form here, so no chance of a surprise! Where is the flower though?
Rory: I wouldāve eventually got it from somewhere. Speaking of, a special someone sent you a special something.
(Rory looks at the paper bag in front of her. Lorelai grabs it and opens it quickly.)
Lorelai (She smells in deeply): Oh, I canāt believe! Fresh French croissants with double chocolate cream! Yummy! He really loves me!
(She takes a sip of coffee): Mmmmm! Yes, he does!
(Lorelai and Rory start eating, each holding a croissant)
Lorelai: Arenāt you supposed to be somewhere else?
Rory: Oh, yeah. (She takes a good sip of coffee and she lifts of the chair with the coffee cup in her hand) Enjoy the meal andā¦ get well!
Lorelai: OK. Thanks sweetie. See you on Friday!
Rory: Yeahā¦ on Friday. But if you feel sick or you need anything, call me!
Lorelai (She look exasperated): Yes mom!
Rory: I mean it!
Lorelai: I know you do. Thatās why I love you.
Rory (Obviously touched by her motherās words): Awww! OKā¦ I am out!
(She leaves the house and while she is on the front porch her cell phone rings. Rory puts the coffee on the banister and looks for her cell phone in her pockets.)
Rory: The phoneā¦ Where are you phone?
(Rory finds the phone in her jacket pocket. She grabs it and answers.)
(On the phone,Logan.)
Logan: Hey Ace!
Rory (All soft and blushy; she smiles): Hey! Whatās up?
Logan: Iāve been looking for you. Doyle told me that youāre still at home.
Rory: Doyle?! Aw! Yeah!
Logan: Yeah, he has a nice Mickey Mouse pajama though.
Rory (Laughs): Listen, I wonāt make it at the first class.
Logan: OK, but I miss you. How is your mom?
Rory: Sheās better, thanks.
Logan: Ace, I need you! I am hungry of you!
Rory: Iām on my way!
Logan: Iām right here waiting.
Rory: OK. See ya!
(Rory hangs up and wants to put her cell phone back into the pocket but it rings again.)
(On the phone,Doyle.)
Doyle: Hi Rory!
Rory (Just for herself): Speaking of the devilā¦
Doyle: Huh? What?!
Rory: Um... Nothingā¦
Doyle (Obviously pissed off by something): I know youāre motherās sick and everything but move your ass up here ācause in like 4 hours we have the annual āYale Daily Newsā meeting where we plan our entire futureā¦
Rory: ā¦ for a year!
Doyle: Yeah, whatever. You know we have to have a pre-meeting of the meeting and to plan the most importantā¦
Rory: If youād let me, right now Iād be in my car, driving towards Yale.
Doyle: Oh, well, in that caseā¦ Donāt be late!
(Rory hangs up again and takes her coffee and rushes to her car. Right then, Sookie appears with a casserole of chicken soup. She and Rory ran over each other and Rory spells a few drops of coffee on Sookieās silk blouse.)
Sookie: Whoa there horsy!
Rory: Aw my God! Iām sorry!
Sookie: Itās OK; it will come out with a good detergentā¦
Rory: I am so sorry!
Sookie: Thatās OK sweetheart. Whereās the fire?
(Rory enters the car; she puts the coffee cup on the board and starts the car.)
Rory: Loganā¦ umā¦ Doyle! I mean... both! I really got to go!
Sookie (Kind of confused): OK. Bye!
(Rory leaves in a hurry, leaving a trace of dust behind her car. Sookie knocks on Lorelaiās door.)
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